Deathgrind D&D Preview - Extra Life 2016

Way back in June, I had the idea of Deathgrind D&D, after playing hours of Dungeon Robber, and thought it would work well for a birthday D&D game. Well... my birthday came and went and I didn't run Deathgrind D&D, but in the last few weeks I've buckled down and gotten it written out to a point where I can run it for Extra Life 2016. So, without further ado, here is a re-written pitch and rules and what-not...

But actually, before that, please consider donating to my Extra Life. Thanks for your support!

Semi-Competi-Comic-Death Grind D&D

5th Edition D&D at a frantic and farcical pace, a less than serious game where the stakes are low, but also high, and investment in your PC is low until they start surviving—A celebration of the absurdity of rolling dice and marking sheets of paper. Bring a roster of 1st level characters or choose from the many pre-made options to toss into the abattoir, or just watch and giggle and try to get a bingo. 

Compete for awards like “Fastest PC Death”, “Most Humorous Monster Kill” and “Most Natural 1’s by a Player” as we throw PC after PC into the death machine of a whimsical mega-dungeon, complete with room names like “The Deadly Catacombs of Cursed Mesmerizing Lights” and “The Forgotten Harem of Ghostly Mildewed Ladies”. 

Players will tag in and out as they come and go, or as their PCs die and new PCs enter the dungeon. Fun will be emphasized over plot, rules or continuity of any kind as we drink. Spectators and players not currently playing will be able to participate in Death Grind D&D Bingo.

Each PC will get a “DOOOM!,” like “Goblin Bait: Goblinoids attack you if they are able” and a “Glimmer” (as in glimmer of hope) like “Bone-Breaker: Once per encounter you can declare an attack against an Undead to be a Critical Hit, before or after the roll is made” and loot (magical and not) will be plentiful. 

Each player will get a chance to bring back a PC as a Zombie or a Ghost for a small donation in support of the Extra-Life campaign and other fun rewards will be offered for donations as well.

Full Deathgrind D&D pitch and rules

Additional samples...

• DOOOMS!
• Mage Slayer
• You have an unreasonable hatred of Spellcasters and are unable to target any other creatures or take any action aside from making an attack whose target includes at least one enemy Spellcaster unless you use a bonus action to focus. This affiliction does not cause you to have any enmity towards PC Spellcasters. Gain 1 XP for surviving any encounter where this Dooom! comes into play.
• Afraid of the Dark
• You are afraid of the Dark and suffer from the Frightened condition in any encounter where you can see an area of Darkness larger than a 5' square until you make a DC 12 WIS saving throw or until the Darkness has been illuminated. Gain 1 XP for surviving any encounter where this Dooom! comes into play.
• Thin-Skinned
• You are vulnerable (take 2x damage) from Slashing damage. Gain 1 XP for surviving any encounter where this Dooom! comes into play.
• Glimmers
• Gear Smasher
• Once per encounter you can declare an attack against a Construct to be a Critical Hit, before or after the roll is made.
• Ghost Flub
• Once an encounter you can declare any attack made by an Undead that targets or includes you as a target as a Critical Miss.
• Blessed Entropy
• Once an encounter you tell the DM that any single non-construct, non-trap inanimate object breaks. You can suggest how this happens, but the final call is the DM's, but as long as the object is not a trap or a construct it will break by the start of your next turn.
• Luck Deck
• You are turned into a Gelatinous Cube
• Your armor become a suit of Plate Mail
• You are under the "Reduce" effect of an Enlarge/Reduce spell for the remainder of the combat.
• Room Names
• The Fiery Maze of Crystal Bone Hands
• The Green and Purple Pit of Souls Inscrutable
• The Deadly Prison of Ancient Copper Eyes
• Awards
• Fastest PC Death
• Most Humorous Monster Kill
• Most Natural 1's by a Player
• Most Natural 20's by a Player
• Most Dead PCs
• Most XP earned by a Player
• PC with most Encounters Survived
• PC with the most Loot

Additional Podcastery

Once again I descended into the Lair of the Ginger Giant to cast some pods.

First we have the 6th Antagonist Relations Actual Play Podcast: Because They're Suckers where the party, with a new Were-frog companion, descended into the dungeon below the Mirror Reflecting.

Second, we have a long and rambling actual, old-school Antagonist Relations Podcast, Roll a CON Save, where we talked about some of the shortcomings of 5e D&D and how we address them, games we want to run and I did some more convincing of Ben of the glory that will be Death Grind D&D before the three beers and late night caught up to me and we ran out of steam. We're going to try and be more focused on these in the future, and cover topics instead of (who am I kidding, in addition to) rambling on and on, so if you have a topic you'd like us to cover, reach out and let us know.

State of the Blog and Games Part Two, the Seconding.

So almost six months ago, just after finishing the holiday season, I wrote a state of the blog post. Since then I’ve only written four posts. Two as “Thoughts of the Day” (though they are more substantial than I remembered), one that was a follow up to my first State of the Blog post (or at least the Battlerager part) and one on the tandem games that Thomas and I ran over the New Years. Then, since January 15th… silence and absence have ruled the blog. Now, I’m going to walk out onto (an admittedly broad and sturdy) limb and say that 99% of the three people who read this blog know me in real life, but maybe there is a loyal stray reader who happened upon this blog by chance and has followed my meandering writings, for that semi-plausible reader, here is my excuse: I got married.