Tuesday, October 16, 2012
An Excerpt from the Legend of Kamerlane Clovertail, the Doom Bringer (to his enemies)
Without comment, here is a character journal I wrote for a 4E D&D game (run by the estimable Citizen Ben) wherein I played the an impetuous monk and the middle sibling in a trio of halfing children. With two other players as my older brother and younger sister, it was a blast even if I only got three or four games out of the PC before the game was unfortunately shuttered. I recommend that you imagine it as being related to you by an over-caffeinated teenager.
'Twas the after the night when Kamerlane led his compatriots to victory over the wicked goblins, cultists and Bourni in the Battle of the Old Mill. An uneasy calm had come over the town, bolstered by the presence of so mighty a warrior as Kam. From the lovely but cold-eyed Elf Waerir, Kam received a secret parcel, entrusted by a mysterious benefactor to Waerir to give to Kam, surely because of the girlish infatuation Waerir tried and failed to hide for Kam. Inside the parcel, Kam discovered a note of encouragement, recognizing that Kam was the mightiest and most worthy hero of those who had fought at the Battle of the Old Mill. A great and magical circlet which rendered Kam impervious to any harm was enclosed. There was also the finest of delectables to keep Kam strong and a bottle of magically potent Brandyvine Spirits.
As Kam examined his fine new provisions, nearby Tom Folk spoke incredibly loudly to Kam's older brother Billiam. Though Bill was older than Kam, it was obvious to all who observed them together that Kam lead the way, while Bill relied on Kam. Tom gave Bill a crest of authority, knowing that Kam's natural charisma would render a crest of leadership completely unnecessary for the Mighty Kamerlane, while the bland and meek Bill would need all the help he could get to impress anyone the brothers met. Tom also said something about not instigating non-hostile Bourni, something that Bill would later forget, leaving Kam once again to get his big brother out of trouble, but more of that later.
The kindly Mrs Folk told Kittera, Kam's little sister, to run home if things got bad, giving Bill a dirty look for not doing enough to protect his and Kam's youngest sibling. Mrs Folk gave Kam a wink of encouragement, recognizing that he had his hands full keeping all of the group safe and that Bill should pull his weight for once and keep an eye on Kit instead of watching jealously after Kam.
There was an elder who spoke to Johann, Kam's personal cleric, that once Johann was no longer necessary in Kam's service, that the priest should minister to the elder's crazy daughter, who, being crazy (perhaps driven mad by unrequited love for Kam?) ran up to Johann and whispered in his ear how madly in love she was with Kam and then giggled and fled blushing. Also, there was a quiet former Borni warrior woman who accompanied them, pining all the while for Kam.
They went deep into the dark woods, whose sinister atmosphere depressed the spirits of all, except Kam, whose natural good looks and obvious heroism gave the others the strength to continue, they discovered an abandoned manor which goblins had taken over. Kam quickly climbed a tree, nimble as a monkey, and spotted their enemies. Kam leapt from tree to tree, agilely avoiding the crossbow bolts of his adversaries, while below him, the others cautiously advanced. After Kam had slaughtered their attackers, they found a human and a bugbear chained up, Kam suspected something amiss, but like a fool, Bill did not listen to his wiser, younger, handsomer brother, and the bugbear was able to grab Bill. As the bugbear strangled Bill, whose pleading eyes begged his heroic brother to help, the bugbear used Bill as a shield, but alas for him, the bugbear, Kam was able to nimbly take out the brute. Taking the booty that was rightfully his, Kam discovered a bottle of Wyrmshine. Kam instructed his two Bourni bondsmen, Hans and Pavel, whose lives he had saved to stay at the Manor and guard it for Kam's return. As a token of his generous thanks, Kam even left the two a bottle of rum to enjoy. Kit found a couple of mushrooms, which Kam, wise in the ways of the woods, easily identified, schooling his little sister on which was poisonous and which ones would be medicinal.
The next day the group continued on their way to the Keep that was their destination, and Kam, scouting ahead, alone, bravely, discovered a clearing with a grisly dias surrounded by skinned corpses, on the other side of which was an ancient catacomb that oozed terror to all those not named Kamerlane. While the others quaked with fear, Kam boldly climbed up, pulled out his magical bottle of Brandyvine and lit it, hurling it in at the unsuspecting cultists who lurked within. The explosion jolted Kam's companions out of their fear and they surrounded the skinless undead beast that was the only thing strong enough to survive Kam's mighty attack. While his companions kept the brute distracted, Kam dealt it mighty blows until it died a final death at the end of Kam's spear of destiny. After the thing was killed, Johann said a prayer of thanks to Bahumat for blessing the world with a hero as mighty as Kam.
After the battle of the Creepy Clearing, won almost singlehandedly by the mighty Kam, the group reached the Keep, infested with goblinoids and humans who worshiped the evil god Taurug. Once again leaving his less bold compatriots behind, Kam crept close, unseen and listened to the goblins, hobgoblins and bugbears gathered there in the name of Bane, god of evil war (and also, from Kam's experience, god of those who get their butts kicked by Kamerlane the Doombringer (to his enemies)). Listening and as undetectable as a ghost, Kam learned that the goblinoids served a king named Kornac, who worked with a human named Valanar, the chosen of Taurug, who had brought a mask. Kam discovered that the goblins were building siege engines and learned the location of a swamp to the west where the Taurug demon worshipers gathered. Just as Kam was about to learn every secret of the evil goblins, some of his companions got over bold and clumsily crept up, as Kam's companions crept up, so too did the Borni that Kam had seen the entire time, not wanting to let the others get caught, Kam quietly alerted the unsuspecting Borni to his presence and demanded that they take him and his companions to their village.
A sub chief, Beinir, recognizing Kam's natural greatness and also being shown Bill's crest, brought the group to the chieftan, a mighty one armed man named Haeg, who recognized in Kam the makings of a great warrior and leader. Kam and Haeg spoke candidly, man to man, despite Bill's butting in and causing the Borni to come to anger at the mention of Tom Folk. Even though Bill attempted to usurp Kam's natural place as leader and upset their host and his tribe, Kam was able to win Haeg back, with his obvious greatness and a reminder that the Borni feared Valanar, while Kam feared no man, beast or undead thing. In honor of Kam's battle honors and greatness, Haeg threw a great feast, treating Kam as guest of honor and allowing Kam's companions to stay at the head table as well out of deference to Kam. Kam regaled the Borni with the story of his exploits, which they agreed were worthy, and even found time to woo a winsome young maiden, about whom no more shall be said out of deference to her honor (aside from the fact that she was smoking and could not keep her eyes, hands or tongue off of Kam).
The next day, as the tribe and his companions shook off the effects of the mighty feast and Kam awoke refreshed and eager, as true heroes always do, Haeg brought them out away from the village, where he confessed that he had a problem only Kam could solve. The chief had his men use a clever apparatus, though not as clever as any that Kam could have devised, should he have needed to, to pull a great stone slab off a deep and fetid pit. Haeg told Kam and his lesser companions that the pit was where criminals, betrayers and other unworthies were kept, but that two days ago something sinister had come to the village and gotten into the pit, turning all within to zombies. Kam at once declared that he, and his companions, should they be bold enough to accompany him, would descend into the pit, kill all the zombeis and carry out the head of the thing that did this monstrous deed on the point of Kam's mighty spear.
Next the tale of Kamerlane the Zombie Slayer, deep in the Pit!
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