Monday, September 14, 2015

Honest Descriptions of PCs Alignments in D&D

Reading Thomas' post about having a GM declare his PC was Chaotic Neutral has me thinking about D&D Alignments again...

Here is a nonsense Alignment Meme, because ALL Alignment Memes are nonsense.

Now, I almost geared up a new post about Alignments and not being a dick to other players, but instead here's something more lighthearted. Now, D&D is famous/infamous for its nine alignments (except for 4th when it was "simplified" to five which I've marked with * for no reason)

  • Lawful Good*
  • Neutral Good* (as Good? I guess Good from 4e could cover Neutral and Chaotic Good)
  • Chaotic Good
  • Lawful Neutral
  • True Neutral* (as unaligned)
  • Chaotic Neutral
  • Lawful Evil
  • Neutral Evil* (As Evil)
  • Chaotic Evil*
But when I have players actually playing D&D I rarely see these alignments, so here is my proposed list of "Honest" Alignments that reflect actual play in my very snarky and not terribly serious opinion. **(Though serious enough that I did not make Alignment an official part of my current 5e D&D game)

The list of Honest Alignments in no-particular order (or some secret order, who knows?).

  1. Lawful Jerk - aka "Let's not break any laws."
  2. "If the party's fine with it..." aka "If I can just get to the next level on my iPhone game" aka level 5 Facebook browser.
  3. Ruthless Good aka "If I think they're Evil, there's nothing that's too horrible that can be done to them."
  4. Thieving Murder Hobo aka "I search the body!"
  5. Stabbity-stab-stab.
  6. "Who needs diplomacy when you have Acid Arrow?" aka ADD aka Random Asshole aka Chaotic Neutral
  7. "Ignore all the notes I'm passing the DM" aka "If I roll high enough, the PC fighter won't know I'm stealing from them." aka Eventually murdered by the rest of the Party.
  8. Annoying Personality Trait- aka D&D 5e background quirks and flaws
  9. Deranged Lunatic aka "What's wrong if I eat babies?" aka Sid
Additional "Honest" Alignments (more in traditional Alignment order) h/t the Ginger Giant for these and for tolerating my editing of these.
  • Moral Absolutist - For when you want to be a bossy dick wrapped in a meta cloak of doing the right thing, accept no substitute.
  • The Good Guy (or Girl) aka "I want to be like Aragorn" aka "I sort of do the right thing but I don't need to get on a soap box about it"
  • Killing is my Business & Business is GOOD aka the Barbarian - For players who get bored and like to stir things up but also want to pretend to be good.
  • "I'm out for myself, but I'm not going to stab you in the back to do it"
  • "Yes, but how does this affect ME!?" aka the Scout, aka "I'm just going to do my own thing here and if the rest of the party doesn't go along...¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
  • "Well, at least I'm not Evil!" aka "I do what I want"
  • "Might Makes Right" aka "Mostly I can game the rules, so I'm good with rules but I'm really not Good.:
  • "I do what I WANT!" aka "I want to play an evil PC"
  • "Insanity for the sake of Insanity" aka "Why don't you want me to heal you?" aka "It's not my blood"

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